Movies Man?
More fun. More dumb.
Movies, man? Movies? I’ve never been one to enjoy - you know - scifi, horror, fantasy . . . all that weird make believe, magic, future stuff. Comedy: Yes! War Drama: Hell yeah! Action is good too, bro. Chuck Norris is cheesy, but I love it when someone just ‘Chuck Norris’ the shit out of someone in a scene ‘though. You know what I’m talking about? Jump off a building! Fight choreography! I hate Star Wars. What the hell is Star Wars?! I guess the light wands are cool, but is it a western, scifi, war film, everything? There’s like white dudes running around in Buddhist robes. 2020 needs to cancel that shit, you feel me? Now they have, like, now they have 20 Star Wars TV shows. My bro fucking Noggins lives for that shit, man. Fuck baby Yoda. Fuck Noggins, man! I ain’t watching that shit. Sports can be fun to watch sometimes, but I only like football. Basketball is filled with pussies, hockey is too fast, NASCAR is too South . . . Baseball, golf, soccer? I’d rather watch fucking Star Wars haha! Sorry Noggins, bro. You know, I do watch some reality stuff when I’m bored too. Everyone does, right? But I like that Forged in Fire shit! Have you seen that? They literally make badass daggers and swords and shit in a competition and bash them into dead pigs and shit. “It will keal!” That is entertainment! I won’t watch stupid stuff. I won’t watch Survivor or Big Brother or Real House wives or whatever. That stuff is so fucking fake. Scripted! Why do they even pretend to call it ‘reality TV’? That’s fucking stupid. Does anybody think that is reality? Naw! They are ly-ing for drama. Stupid shit. Just call it fucking low budget scripted television drama featuring fine-ass people pretending to be just enough like you or I that we watch and laugh along. Those celebrities ain’t like us at all, man. That’s bullshit. But yeah, my favorite movie is Tropic Thunder and . . . I know, I know . . . It has fucking black face and makes fun of retarded, I mean, mentally challenged kids or whatever, but that shit is funny and has the action too. Best. Movie. Ever. If I could only watch one movie for the rest of my life, it would Tropic Fucking Thunder. I don’t even like Ben Stiller and I STILL think that shit is hot. They need to make a sequel. I know what you’re going to say: “Sequels always suck fucking balls!” Well not Tropic Thunder 2 because, get this, what if they get Dwane THE ROCK Johnson and shit and the movie is about how they are remaking Tropic Thunder which is already a movie about the making of a fucking movie about ‘Nam and shit, right? Sorry bro: Spoiler alert! New actors, same script, different fucking ass hijinx. It would be fucking hilarious AND meta. Give it an Oscar right fucking now! You feel me? You feel me, homie? Anyway, yeah. What do you want to watch? Don’t say fucking Disney+
